Im-mew-nentize the Eschaton!
This week (against my better judgement) I turn over my Livejournal to Princess BB Michaels, cat.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Hi! I'm BB Michaels, princess! Hope I'm not intruding. Three years ago, I moved in to the stately Michaels estate, which is the best place in the entire world. I love it so much. I love everything in it. I love everyone in it. I want to share all the things I love with you. I think you'll love them as much as I do, because I love them and I love you. I don't even need to know you to know I love you.
Are you eating that by the way? Do you mind if I... No? Maybe later? Well, then.
I'm going to use pictures that the soft mushy male human took. First up, here's my amazing cat tree:
And here I am at the top of my tree:
I love my tree so much. From here, I can survey the entire domain and see all the things that I love. I learned about the top spot from watching Moose, one of the other cats.
This is Moose:
You can see how much he loves me there. He says sometimes that I'm a biter because I copy everything he does. I love him, though, and want to be just like him so as soon as I see him doing something, I try to do it too. Plus, sleep spots are better if they smell like Moose.
We also have a great front door:
That's me watching birds (I love birds) with Moose and Toby.
Excuse me, would you mind letting me out? I want to tell the birds I love them.
Please? No? What if I show you my belleh?
No? Seriously? Well, that's ok, I love you anyways.
I also love grass:
We all love grass. I always eat it in moderation, but Toby the cat always ends up falling into states of paranoia. She thinks something called "the feds" are coming to get her in "black helicopters."
This is Toby being paranoid:
Also, I love my toys:
This is a rainbow cat teaser, model X-37, with the clear plastic rod and streamlined swirl function ("for kitty's pleasure"). Its the best. Would you mind maybe just shaking it for me a little?
OH GOD YES YES SWEET CAT JESUS YES!
At last the rod is mine. Foolish human. Foolish human, whom I love.
I also love being scratched. Being scratched is the best. I'm not dropping hints or anything.
No, nope, no hint, I can take care of it myself.
OH NO ITCHY IN THE ONE SPOT I CAN'T REACH EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME
Oh, yes, that's the spot. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.
So I think that covers most of the things I love. My tree. My door. Birds. My toy. Moose and Toby. Grass. Getting scratched. I get all of that here. The stately Michaels estate is, in fact, nearly heaven on Earth. I don't know why all the kitties don't live here.
Let me get serious with you for a moment though...
Seriously. Are you going to eat that? Because, you know, I bet in heaven they share their food...
Thank you. That was delicious. I knew there was a reason I loved you.
Visit again soon! Next time you come by, Moose and I will make a treat for you to show you how much we love you.
It will taste just like Moose smells. "Mmmm" is for "Mmmmoose."