prog_schlock (prog_schlock) wrote,
prog_schlock
prog_schlock

LJ Idol Week #20a - Topic "Immanentize the eschaton!"

This is my first of two entries for week #20 of therealljidol.

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Im-mew-nentize the Eschaton!

This week (against my better judgement) I turn over my Livejournal to Princess BB Michaels, cat.

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Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

This photo is of our black cat, BB Michaels, reclining on our couch.  She is sitting like she is a human.

Hi! I'm BB Michaels, princess! Hope I'm not intruding. Three years ago, I moved in to the stately Michaels estate, which is the best place in the entire world. I love it so much. I love everything in it. I love everyone in it. I want to share all the things I love with you. I think you'll love them as much as I do, because I love them and I love you. I don't even need to know you to know I love you.

Are you eating that by the way? Do you mind if I... No? Maybe later? Well, then.

I'm going to use pictures that the soft mushy male human took. First up, here's my amazing cat tree:

BB Michaels on the middle level of the cat tree.  She is gazing at the camera looking very pleased with herself.

And here I am at the top of my tree:

BB at the top of her tree looking down at us.  She is clearly very high up.

I love my tree so much. From here, I can survey the entire domain and see all the things that I love. I learned about the top spot from watching Moose, one of the other cats.

This is Moose:

Moose is a tabby cat.  This image features him staring at the camera with some annoyance, as if he is just been woken up.

You can see how much he loves me there. He says sometimes that I'm a biter because I copy everything he does. I love him, though, and want to be just like him so as soon as I see him doing something, I try to do it too. Plus, sleep spots are better if they smell like Moose.

We also have a great front door:

Three cats the front door - its a metal security door.  They are all staring out of it with great focus.

That's me watching birds (I love birds) with Moose and Toby.

Excuse me, would you mind letting me out? I want to tell the birds I love them.

BB is sitting at the door looking up at the camera as if to ask to be let out.

Please? No? What if I show you my belleh?

BB is still in front of the door, but she has flipped on her back to show off her belly

No? Seriously? Well, that's ok, I love you anyways.

I also love grass:

Three cats all eating cat grass.  They surround the little bowl of grass in a circle.

We all love grass. I always eat it in moderation, but Toby the cat always ends up falling into states of paranoia. She thinks something called "the feds" are coming to get her in "black helicopters."

This is Toby being paranoid:

Toby is a blue cat.  She is sitting here with an alarmed look on her face as if she is about to run away or attack.

Also, I love my toys:

BB and a rainbow colored cat teaser.  The rope part of the teaser is lying inactive on the floor.

This is a rainbow cat teaser, model X-37, with the clear plastic rod and streamlined swirl function ("for kitty's pleasure"). Its the best. Would you mind maybe just shaking it for me a little?

The rainbow rope is now in the air and BB is playing with it.

OH GOD YES YES SWEET CAT JESUS YES!

BB has grabbed the clear plastic rod of the cat teaser and is gnawing on it.

At last the rod is mine. Foolish human. Foolish human, whom I love.

I also love being scratched. Being scratched is the best. I'm not dropping hints or anything.

BB is trying to scratch herself on the back of her head with her rear paw.

No, nope, no hint, I can take care of it myself.

BB is lying on her face making a face hat suggests she's in a high level of discomfort

OH NO ITCHY IN THE ONE SPOT I CAN'T REACH EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME

In this image, a hand is scratching a very grateful looking BB.

Oh, yes, that's the spot. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.

So I think that covers most of the things I love. My tree. My door. Birds. My toy. Moose and Toby. Grass. Getting scratched. I get all of that here. The stately Michaels estate is, in fact, nearly heaven on Earth. I don't know why all the kitties don't live here.

Let me get serious with you for a moment though...

Close up of BB - she looks very serious

Seriously. Are you going to eat that? Because, you know, I bet in heaven they share their food...

BB is licking her lips as if she just ate something.

Thank you. That was delicious. I knew there was a reason I loved you.

Visit again soon! Next time you come by, Moose and I will make a treat for you to show you how much we love you.

Moose the cat is lying in a red mixing bowl next to a box of cake mix

It will taste just like Moose smells. "Mmmm" is for "Mmmmoose."
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